


Ending in tears

by Coriaria



Series: One More Dirty Job AU [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus Severus, Cute fluffy moments amongst the angst, F/M, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY, Hurt/Comfort, I promise, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, cute toddler Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-10 00:33:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16460060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coriaria/pseuds/Coriaria
Summary: Sirius throws a party for Harry's third birthday. And not just any birthday party. Twenty pre-schoolers. Thirty assorted parents, caregivers and other adults. Weasleys, Malfoys, Longbottoms, the Muggles from down the road. Fizzy drink and chocolate cake for the children and elf-made wine for the adults. And the star attraction is Severus Snape.What could possibly go wrong?





	Ending in tears

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this for Harry's birthday but got sidetracked, then the story headed down a rather more angsty and complicated path than I intended. The warning tag is for a very oblique reference to past non-con.

Remus was sure of only one thing – the afternoon was heading towards a screaming tantrum.

He couldn’t blame Sirius for wanting to do a birthday party for Harry. A fancy birthday cake with candles, presents wrapped in bright paper, a few other children to play with, even having Prince giving rides around the back garden – none of that was unreasonable for a little boy’s third birthday.

If that was all there was, everything would have been lovely. But it wasn’t. A collision of certain events – most notably Sirius inheriting an absurd quantity of galleons and a house elf from his uncle Alphard and Albus Dumbledore’s most recent comments about how Harry would be better off with family – meant that Sirius had decided that any old birthday party wasn’t good enough for Harry. He must have the biggest and best.

Twenty preschoolers were therefore running around the back garden of the cottage, squealing with excitement, stuffed full of sweets and fizzy drink, squabbling over the most coveted toys and all of them heading for hysterics. The children were all too young for their parents to leave them at the party, so there were also about thirty adults following them around, trying to stop the children hitting each other and eyeing the other parents suspiciously. Sirius had invited a number of children from the village and their parents – muggles of course – as well as various witches and wizards with children around Harry’s age. It was always going to be an awkward mix. Things were not improved by the abundant elf-made wine supplied for the adults.

Remus desperately wanted a drink, but someone had to keep a clear head. Sirius certainly hadn’t. Earlier, he’d made the mistake of drinking some of the wine himself and started flirting with some of the mothers. Since about half of them were there with their husbands, the situation had threatened to get rather unpleasant.

The one bright spot of the afternoon was Severus.

“I really can’t believe that Sirius talked him into this,” Mary MacDonald said, appearing at Remus’s side with a cup of tea. Mary had sent a present just before Harry’s second birthday and had asked permission to visit him. While Harry was initally wary, as he was of all new people, he’d quickly warmed to her, perhaps having some memory of her from when she’d helped Lily when he was a baby. Over the last year, she had become Harry’s babysitter of choice for the nights of the full moon, when Sirius and Severus would join Remus in the hills well away from any human habitation.

“I think he actually enjoys it, believe it or not.”

Remus watched as Severus, in his animagus form of a Friesian horse known as Prince, plodded around the garden with two shrieking Weasley boys on his back. Sirius, who had wisely laid off the wine, was leading him and Molly hovered at his side, afraid one of the twins would fall or, more likely, push the other off.

“Surely not.”

“He doesn’t have to be polite to anyone. He gets lots of attention from everyone telling him how lovely he is. He gets to play with all the children with nobody making snide comments about Death Eaters.”

“I suppose.”

Mary watched dubiously as the twins were lifted down and the younger boy, Ron, lifted up.

“No,” Harry said, grabbing at Sirius’s leg. “My turn.”

“You just had a turn, Harry,’ Sirius said.

“Mine, now.”

“Harry, you need to wait. It won’t be long.”

“NOW!”

“Ron won’t mind if Harry rides with him,” Molly said, clearly alarmed at the threatened tantrum.

“Well…”

Sirius looked at Ron and then back at Harry. He knew – because he’d been reminded by Remus, Mary and numerous others many times – that he shouldn’t give in when Harry got like that. But he found it hard to say no to his Godson.

Severus flicked his tail and stamped one of his hind feet, as if he was getting rid of a fly. Molly looked at the big black horse in alarm. So far, he’d been a model of equine virtue, completely unflappable no matter what the children were doing on his back. He hadn’t even been bothered when they began running around his feet, although Mary had put a stop to that.

“MY turn. Prince is MINE.”

Prince gave a snort and dropped his head to Harry. He pushed his head against Harry’s chest until Harry took a step back.

“Harry, love, I think Prince is saying you have to wait your turn. Why don’t you take the rope and lead him around. You can show everyone how good Prince is for you.”

Sirius handed Harry the lead rope. Molly began to look worried, but Harry calmed down immediately.

“Come on, Prince,” Harry said, walking off.

“Is that safe?” Molly asked, looking back at Sirius as she steadied her son on Severus’s back.

“Perfectly,” Sirius said. “Prince knows the score. He’ll just walk around the garden like he did with me.”

Remus and Mary walked over to Sirius.

“Nice save,” Remus said.

2.

“I really can’t believe Severus. Inviting his godson to a party, with Muggles, and then not even turning up himself.”

Narcissa Malfoy was teetering along beside Prince in a pair of ridiculous high heels. She kept reaching one hand out to her son, clearly afraid he would fall. Draco, however, had no such concerns. He was giggling with delight at riding Prince around the field.

“Well, you know Severus,” Remus replied, shrugging his shoulders. He was walking beside Prince’s head, holding the lead rope, which served no other purpose than reassuring anxious parents. Sirius had returned to playing host, offering his guests drinks while helping himself again. “Can you see him enjoying this?”

“Oh, he’d have loathed it, darling. Unless he could get away with just lurking in the shadows somewhere and making snide comments about everyone. He’d enjoy that.”

Remus suspected that Narcissa would have been a willing participant in such an activity. So far, in the time Draco had been riding Prince, she’d made rude comments about Molly Weasley’s robes, Mary’s overalls, Augusta Longbottom’s hat and just about everything Sirius wore, said or did. She hadn’t commented on the Muggles present, considering them beneath her notice.

“Hmm, yes, probably,” Remus said, very aware of Prince’s large hooves stepping very close to his feet.

“I’d love to hear what he’d say about Arthur. Look at him, fawning over those muggles. What an embarrassment. They must think he’s a lunatic.”

Remus made another non-committal noise as Prince came to a stop and dropped his head to the ground. He bit off a tuft of grass and raised his head again, chewing messily. Abruptly, he turned his head to rub his face across Narcissa’s chest. She shrieked in horror at the slobbery green smear on her dress.

“Ew, that revolting beast. That’s disgusting.”

Remus carefully hid the smirk on his face and turned his back to the party so nobody could see him charm the smear from her clothing. He wasn’t surprised at Prince’s reaction. While initially Arthur had been as concerned as Molly about Harry spending so much time with “those fairies”, he’d come to see a different point of view. Sirius had cunningly convinced Arthur to watch coverage of the London Pride March on his television under the premise of watching the muggle news. Once Sirius had persuaded Arthur that gay pride was a Muggle Thing, he’d then let slip that Severus had been brought up almost entirely as a muggle. It hadn’t taken long for curiosity to overcome prejudice, and Arthur had decided to become Severus’s friend. It had taken longer for him to convince Severus, but now, whenever Arthur came across a curious muggle devise, Severus was the first person he asked about it.

“What’s a volting beast, Mummy?” Draco asked.

“Never you mind,” Narcissa snapped back at him.

Draco was silent for a few moments, then spoke again.

“Mummy?”

“Yes, my darling.”

“May I have a pony, please?”

Narcissa’s eyes widened then her perfectly painted lips turned down.

“I’m sorry, darling. Your father would not approve. You know how he is.”

The hopeful look on Draco’s face faded.

“Yes, Mummy.”

Remus felt sorry for the blonde boy with the wide blue eyes and serious expression. Narcissa brought him to see Severus occasionally, and he always seemed much more subdued than a toddler should be. His speech was far ahead of Harry’s, but he had none of Harry’s energy or delight in the world. At the party, he’d stood and watched for the first half hour, before beginning to follow the other children around. Eventually, he’d relaxed and joined in, ending up with grass stains on his trousers, tomato sauce down the front of his shirt and chocolate icing from Harry’s birthday cake all over his hands. It was the first time Remus had ever seen him look like he was having fun.

When they had finished their circuit of the garden, Remus lifted Draco down and patted him on the back, before gently pushing him in the direction of the other children. Draco trotted across to them, then stood, just on the edge of the group.

“Narcissa, you know that Severus and I would be happy to have him over more often, if you’d like. He would be able to ride Prince then,” Remus said. “It’s good for Draco, and good for Harry too, to have another child to play with. And good for you to get a break.”

“What makes you think I need a break?” Narcissa snapped back. “I have house elves. And do you really think his father would be happy about that?”

Prince butted Remus in the side with his head. He was right, of course. Narcissa was unlikely to take suggestions on parenting from Remus, even if she had come to rather like him. Not that she’d admit it. Remus scratched around the base of Prince’s big, black ears.

“Friendly thing, isn’t he?” Narcissa said. “Wherever did you get him? He looks more like the sort of horse a dark wizard would own.”

“Long story,” Remus said. His tone suggested that he was not planning to talk about it.

Narcissa gave a nod.

“I suppose,” she said, after a thougtful pause, “that Harry will grow up to be a very influential wizard. The Potter fortune, banishing the Dark Lord, that sort of thing. It would… It would be to Draco’s benefit if they were friends.”

Remus smiled inwardly. He’d give her some time. Narcissa would convince herself, then she would convince her husband.

3.

“Dear Merlin,” Narcissa said. “He really needs to slow down his consumption. He’s going to make a fool of himself in a minute.”

Remus turned to where Sirius was pouring yet another drink for himself. He raised the glass to his lips, swallowed half and then began to walk a slightly weaving path to where Mary and a couple of the Muggle mothers were supervising a game of some sort.

“Oh, no. He’s not…”

Sirius walked up behind Mary, who was clearly concentrating on the children. There was a lot of giggling and squealing as they chased after the bubbles that one of the Muggle mothers was blowing from a bottle of mysterious liquid and a loop of plastic. Sirius stood behind her, then swallowed the rest of his drink.

“He is,” Narcissa replied.

Remus shoved the lead rope at Narcissa, who promptly dropped it, and ran towards Sirius. He was too late though, as Sirius reached around her waist, pulling her against him. Mary gave a squeal, before twisting around and yelling. Then Sirius was on the ground moaning.

Remus glanced down at Sirius, who was probably drunk enough that he wasn’t in too much pain, and then at Mary.

“Mary, are you alright?” he asked.

He offered his hand, but didn’t touch her. Mary’s expression was angry, but her face had gone pale. She looked up from staring at Sirius. Remus realised that she was breathing heavily, as if she had been running.

“I… I’m fine. I… um…”

She looked back down at Sirius.

“I… I’ve been doing self-defence classes. I… Have I hurt him? I didn’t mean to.”

“He’ll be fine, Mary. He’s probably just fallen over because he’s drunk. I’ll take him inside. Do you think you could mind Prince for me while I do that.”

Mary’s shoulders sagged in relief and she immediately rushed across to Prince. She stood leaning up against him, one arm slung across his neck.

Remus bent down and grabbed Sirius’s hand.

“Come on, Sirius. I think you should come inside and get sobered up.”

“She kicked me, Moony.”

Sirius was pouting and looked like he was beginning to feel sorry for himself.

“Yes, she did. And I can’t blame her. You grabbed her, Sirius. What did you expect?”

Remus helped Sirius to his feet. Sirius stood, swaying slightly and blinking as he tried to focus his eyes.

“I gave her a hug.”

“You sneaked up behind her and grabbed her around the waist. You gave her a fright. And you know she doesn’t like hugs.”

“She likes hugs from Harry. Why doesn’t she like hugs from me?”

“Shut up, Sirius.”

Remus headed inside, dragging a complaining Sirius behind him. In the kitchen, he pushed Sirius into one of the seats at the table and began rifling through cupboards. When he found a vial of Sober-up, he shoved it into Sirius’s hand, standing over him until he’d drunk every last drop.

“Oh, fuck, now it just hurts more.”

Sirius dropped his head onto his arm and moaned. Remus turned away and began to make coffee. He was not in the mood to be sympathetic.

“She kicked me in the groin, Moony. What sort of bird does that? I mean, I know she dresses like some sort of radical… uh… well… But under those awful overalls she’s fit, you know?”

“Not really, Sirius, no.”

Remus looked back at Sirius with a defiant stare. Sirius had always talked about women in that way, even at school, finishing his sentences with “you know” in the expectation that James, Peter and Remus would agree with him. While Peter was happy to join in, neither James nor Remus had appreciated the attitude. James was a romantic; he might have been cocky, patronising and persistent, but he ultimately believed that a woman should be treated like a princess. Remus simply kept his mouth shut and hoped that nobody would notice his lack of interest.

Sirius lifted his head to look at Remus, then frowned.

“Oh, oh right. Yeah, you don’t. Of course. Uh… sorry.”

Remus walked back to Sirius and handed him a cup of coffee. He sat down at another seat at the table, his own coffee in front of him. He didn’t feel as if Sirius’s comment warranted a response, so he sat in silence, waiting for Sirius to say something sensible. With the way he had behaved today, Remus expected that could take some time.

4.

“I don’t get Mary, I just don’t get her, Moony.”

“Really,” Remus replied, curling his lip slightly.

Then, realising he’d borrowed his expression from Severus, he gulped a mouthful of lukewarm coffee. He didn’t know why he’d even made himself a coffee. He preferred tea.

“She’s such a pretty girl, and if she dressed better, did something to her hair, wore some makeup…”

“Perhaps Mary has other priorities than impressing you, Sirius. And she’s a woman, not a girl. She’s twenty four.”

Sirius started at him, startled.

“Are there not enough women around for you to chase that you have to start on Mary? She’s our friend. Harry adores her. You’re just going to muck everything up. Can’t you just accept that there might be one or two women in the world who don’t fancy you, and leave them alone?”

Now Sirius was starting to look ashamed of himself.

“I don’t want to muck everything up, Remus.”

“Well how about you just accept Mary as she is. And accept that you won’t be adding Mary to your list of conquests.”

“It’s not like that.”

Remus was skeptical. Although Sirius had settled down for a while after Harry had come to live with him, he had a tendency to slip back into his old ways. He’d behave for a few months, then one night he’d leave Harry with Severus and Remus and head to London or another city with no shortage of bars and clubs. Occasionally, he’d find a girl he particularly liked and would be gone for several days.

“So, what is is like then?”

“Mary’s not like the others.”

“You mean the others you sleep with then dump?”

Sirius, to his credit, looked ashamed of himself.

“I haven’t been doing that for a bit. I’ve been going out, but lately I don’t feel like going home with any woman who’ll have me.”

The skeptical look didn’t leave Remus’s face.

“And what’s brought about this miraculous transformation?”

“Well… that’s the thing, isn’t it? It’s Mary.”

“Really.”

“Remus, I think I really like her.”

“Are you sure it isn’t just that you want her because she’s not interested in you? That you just can’t accept there might be a woman immune to your charm?”

Sirius frowned and then twisted his mouth slightly. It was his “serious thinking” face, a sign he wasn’t just trying to come up with the funniest answer, but was actually being honest.

“No, it’s not like that. She’s smart and kind and she’s amazing with Harry. And the thing is, sometimes I think she does like me. Then it’s like she backs off or shuts down and I think she doesn’t. That’s what I mean, I don’t get her. I don’t know what to do, Remus, I really don’t.”

Remus looked at Sirius’s earnest face.

“Merlin’s teeth, you really do fancy her, don’t you?”

Sirius nodded.

“What should I do, Remus?”

Remus let out a long sigh. Sirius must be in a very bad way to ask Remus for romantic advice. And the worst of it was that Remus had no idea. He didn’t even know if Mary was interested in men, given that she had her hair cropped short, wore overalls and was doing a post-graduate course in Women’s Studies at Birmingham University. Then there was her history at Hogwarts to consider. Remus very much doubted that Sirius would know the details of the dark spell that Mulciber had cast on her, nor the rest of the story. But there was no doubt in Remus’s mind that it would still be sitting heavily on Mary. If nothing else, her reaction today told him that.

“Have you tried talking to her about it?”

“What, you mean like ‘Hey Mary, I really like you, would you go out with me?’”

Sirius sounded incredulous.

“Yeah, that is apparently what normal people do. But… well you might need to apologise first. And she probably won’t trust you at all, since she hasn’t generally seen you treat women with much respect. And I don’t actually know if she prefers men or women.”

Sirius looked at Remus for a moment, his mouth hanging open slightly, before he dropped his head into his hands.

“Oh Merlin, it’s hopeless isn’t it?”

“Probably.”

Remus reached across and put his hand on Sirius’s shoulder.

“Look,” he said, “it may not work out, but you’ll get over it. Better to be honest and get past the awkwardness than pull stunts like you did today.”

“She’s really pissed off at me, isn’t she?”

“I think she probably is, yeah.”

“I need to apologise, don’t I?”

Remus nodded and Sirius got to his feet.

“Wait.”

Remus grabbed Sirius’s arm.

“I’ll talk to her first. See if she is ready for you to apologise now. It may be better if you wait.”

Sirius sat back down and put his head in his hands.

“Fuck, I’m such an idiot.”

Remus didn’t disagree.

5.  
When Remus emerged from the house, Prince was once again walking around the garden with a child on his back. Mary walked alongside, one hand on the boy’s back, one holding the lead rope. Remus realise with surprise that the child was Neville Longbottom. Neville’s grandmother, resplendent in a peacock-feathered hat, was facing away from them, talking to Narcissa. She too had not deigned to communicate with the muggle parents, and had spent most of the party standing beside Molly Weasley making disparaging comments about the behaviour of her children. The comments were not entirely undeserved, but the behaviour of the Weasley children had struck Remus as far preferable to the behaviour of Neville. The boy hadn’t said a word or smiled for the entire party.

Remus walked across towards Mary, Prince and Neville, observing the way the boy turned towards him and watched his approach. There was definitely something wrong with the boy, as his grandmother had rather pointedly said to the Weasleys. However Remus wasn’t convinced by Augusta Longbottom’s assessment that the boy was a squib and probably retarded as a result of his mother working as an auror during most of her pregnancy. How traumatic must it have been for the boy when his parents were tortured into insanity? What had he seen and heard of their ordeal? Remus was reminded of Harry when Sirius had first brought him home from the Dursleys. Neville, Remus suspected, was traumatised.

“Hello, Neville,” Remus said softly. “Are you enjoying your ride?”

Neville dropped his eyes, looking at his hands, which were tightly gripping Prince’s mane.

“I see you are holding on very well, Neville,” Remus said.

Neville looked up for a moment, then looked at Mary.

“Remus is right, Neville,” she said. “You are doing very well.”

There was no smile, but Remus could see that the boy relaxed, ever so slightly. Remus walked alongside as Prince completed his slow plod around the garden.

When they had finished, Mary lifted Neville down.

“There you go, Neville,” she said. “Would you like to go back to the other children now?”

Neville stood unmoving for a moment, then gave a slight shake of his head. He reached out and touched her hand.

“Would you like me to hold you for a bit, love?”

Neville nodded, and she picked him up, settling him so he was sitting on her hip. He leaned in against her and closed his eyes.

“Mary,” Remus said quietly, “I’ve spoken to Sirius. He wants to apologise, but wanted to know whether he should do it now, or wait a bit.”

Mary turned her face towards Neville and rocked slightly. After a long pause, she sighed.

“I suppose now is as good as ever.”

“Mary, I know he can be an insensitive prat, but he is a good man, deep down.”

“I do see that sometimes, but then he pulls a stunt like today.”

“I know. He’s my best friend, but I won’t defend his behaviour.”

Mary gave Remus a thin smile.

“Neville, sweetie,” she said, “I need to go and talk to someone. Would you like to go back with the other children now? Or would you like Remus to hold you?”

Neville lifted his head up and looked at Remus with suspicion. Remus reached one hand towards him. When Neville didn’t flinch, he took the boy from Mary’s arms. Neville held himself stiffly for a few moments, but then relaxed, winding one arm around Remus’s neck then resting his head on Remus’s shoulder. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and closed his eyes. Within minutes he was asleep.

Remus watched Mary as she walked across the garden towards the cottage. He knew that Sirius was capable of a sincere, honest apology, but he was equally capable of saying something terrible and making everything worse. Harry would be devastated if Mary was so upset with Sirius that she decided to stop visiting or looking after him. Remus couldn’t quite imagine Mary doing that to Harry – she could always come and see him at Remus and Severus’s, after all – but that didn’t stop him worrying.

As he stood watching, he felt something soft touch his neck, and then warm breath blowing into his ear. He turned his head and Prince gently rubbed his face against Remus’s cheek.

“I really hope he doesn’t muck it up, Severus.”

Prince gave a huff of breath.

“I know, Severus, I know.”

6.  
In the end, it was one of the Muggle children who signalled the end of the party. Michael was generally a good natured boy who played with Harry at the local playground, but he didn’t take kindly to the Weasley twins careening into him as they chased each other. He fell heavily to the ground, spilling his drink, then began to howl. Harry, who tended to react whenever there was shouting or yelling, immediately started to cry loudly. Then Neville, who had been sleeping peacefully in Remus’s arms, jolted awake and began to scream.

Remus rushed across to grab Harry and was struggling with two wailing boys when Sirius ran outside, with Mary close behind. Sirius pulled Harry into his arms and began to make soothing noises, rocking him, holding him tight, murmuring that everything was okay and that Sirius would always keep him safe. Michael’s mother had picked him up too, while Molly Weasley was holding onto a twin with each hand and telling them to apologise. A number of the other parents seemed to realise that the party had gone on rather too long for a group of toddlers to cope with and were picking up their children and thanking Mary for the party, since Sirius was paying attention to nobody but Harry.

Augusta Longbottom, on the other hand, seemed in no hurry to retrieve her bawling grandson. When Remus looked her, she sighed and looked thoroughly put-upon. She took her time in moving towards them and Remus found himself holding Neville a little more tightly. He knew it must be hard for Augusta, caring for her catatonic son and daughter-in-law, as well as her grandson, even if she did have a couple of house elves to help. But she still wasn’t a likable person.

“I suppose I’d better take the child home,” she said, her voice cold.

“It must be so difficult for you, Augusta, having to raise your grandson as well as caring for Frank and Alice. Especially as he’s…” Remus’s voice faltered. “Especially with his difficulties.”

Augusta nodded, her face relaxing at Remus’s sympathetic tone.

“You have no idea,” she said. “It’s such a burden. I’m constantly getting asked if he’s a squib. Sometime I don’t feel like going out at all, having to face the sideways looks and rude questions. It’s exhausting.”

Remus was nodding in agreement, ignoring the Mary’s puzzled expression.

“I just can’t imagine. I don’t know how you do it,” he said.

That launched Augusta into further complaints and Remus into further sympathetic nodding. When she finally paused, Remus spoke.

“You know, I’d be happy to help out by babysitting sometimes, have Neville to stay for a few days, even. I look after Harry regularly, so I’m used to children his age. it would give you some time to yourself.”

Mary, standing outside Augusta’s line of sight, smirked.

“What a great idea, Remus,” Mary said. “He’s very good with Harry, you know, Augusta. Neville would be just fine with him.”

“Oh, I don’t know, he is my grandson, after all. I have obligations. What would people say?”

Narcissa looked up from where she was crouching in front of Draco. She had waited until all the muggles had left before beginning to vanish the stains from his clothing.

“I’m sure they would think it was a good thing that you got a little time to yourself.,” Narcissa said. “You’ve done so much for Frank, Alice and Neville. And I agree that he’d be in good hands with Remus. He’s great with Draco too.”

Remus gave Narcissa a grateful smile.

“And it’s not like he’s going to have any children of his one, are you, Remus?” Sirius added.

Augusta’s expression went cold again.

“Ah, yes, I did hear about you and that half-blood Slytherin. Eileen Prince’s boy. Rumoured to be a Death Eater.”

Augusta wrinkled her nose in distate and Remus felt his face burn as he glared at Sirius. Mary also shot Sirius a filthy look, although Narcissa had turned to look at Prince. After a few moments of awkward silence, realisation dawned on Sirius’s face.

“I… uh…” he said, apparently trying to atone for his careless words. “He wasn’t a Death Eater. Didn’t you see the reports from his trial? He was coerced to join and later he worked as a spy for Albus. There was a great writeup in the Daily Prophet.”

Augusta sneered even more.

“Do you think I have time to read the Daily Prophet?” she snapped.

At the raised voices, Neville raised his head warily. He was still crying and a long string of snot ran from his nose to Remus shoulder. Augusta gave a faint flinch at the sight.

“You know, it’s been a long day today, Augusta, if you’d like me to take him home tonight to give you a rest, I can. You do look like you need a break.”

For a moment, Augusta looked torn, but then her face sagged in relief.

“That would be a real help, thank you Remus. I shall pick him up tomorrow lunchtime.”

With a brief wave to her grandson and unseemly haste, Augusta Longbottom walked to the gate and apparated away.

7.  
“What was all that about, Remus?” Sirius asked. “You getting clucky or something.”

Mary stepped forward with a handful of tissues and began to clean Neville’s face.

“I’m concerned about him,” Remus said. “Remember how Harry was when he first came to you? All sad and silent? Watching all the time? Scared of everything?”

Sirius nodded his head. Remus noticed that his arms wrapped a little tighter around the now-sleeping Harry.

“I think Neville might be traumatised like that. And hasn’t healed from it. He was there, when Frank and Alice were…”

Remus couldn’t bring himself to say the word “tortured”. Not in front of Neville. Or Severus, for that matter.

“But he wouldn’t remember, surely?” Narcissa said.

She stood up from where she had been sitting on a chair next to Draco as she cleaned up his clothes. Her wand was still in her hand and suddenly Neville’s eyes were wide and staring directly at her. He was very, very still in Remus’s arms.

“Oh, I think he remembers alright,” Mary said in a quiet voice. “Narcissa, it may be a good idea if you put your wand away. And maybe step back a bit.”

Narcissa quickly complied.

“Oh no, that poor boy,” she said softly. “He must remember my sister.”

Mary stepped between Narcissa and Neville and took the boy from Remus’s arms. She walked him away from the group slightly, murmuring to him.

“Did you get a fright, darling? Were you scared? You poor love, you’re safe now, it’s ok, you’re safe.”

“I think I’d better leave you to it,” Narcissa said. “Thank you for the party, Sirius. Draco had a wonderful time, didn’t you, my darling?”

“Yes, Mummy.”

“And what do polite young wizards say?”

“Thank you for the party, Uncle Sirius.”

Sirius beamed at him and, once Narcissa had picked Draco up, insistent on planting a kiss on his head. Narcissa gave a nod to Remus and Mary, then walked over to Prince. Draco patted his nose, then Narcissa put her face close to his cheek before she walked down the path and left the garden.

Prince gave a brief shudder and suddenly Severus was standing in his place.

“Took her long enough to work it out,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

Remus stepped over to him, slipping and arm around his waist and giving him a quick kiss. Severus pulled back.

“You might want to remove that snot from your shirt before you wipe it all over me.”

Severus pulled out his wand and pointed it at Remus’s shoulder.

“Evanesco.”

“Oh, sorry about that, love.”

Remus put his arms around Severus again and this time he wasn’t rebuffed.

“What’s going on with Neville? I didn’t catch all the conversation, except that we seem to have acquired a child for the night.”

“I’m worried about him. Augusta seems to think he’s… slow, but I think he may still be suffering trauma from when his parents…”

Severus turned slightly to look at Neville and Mary. The boy, still looking terrified, visibly flinched as he caught sight of Severus. Mary turned so he was looking in the other direction.

“Severus,” she said, looking over her shoulder at him, “could you put your wand away, please? I think that is what’s scaring him.”

Severus quickly slipped his wand into his sleeve.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise.”

“I don’t think anyone did, love,” Remus said. “Mary, do you thinks he remembers what happened in some way? Remembers that when wands were pointed at his parents, bad things happened?”

“Maybe. I don’t know what babies remember.”

“Harry remembers,” Sirius said. “He still hates bright flashes of light. And there was something on the telly the other day where a woman shrieked, just some silly thing about being scared of a mouse, but that really upset him.”

“I’ll bet Augusta uses her wand all the time at home and has never noticed it scares him,” Remus said. “Poor Neville.”

Mary walked back to the group, still talking softly to Neville.

“Did Severus scare you with his wand, Neville? It’s ok. I promise he won’t hurt you. You’re safe with us. See, Severus, wouldn’t hurt you. He wants to say hi.”

Severus gave a faint smile and Neville looked back warily.

“I’m sorry I scared you, Neville,” he said.

Neville kept staring, but he didn’t shrink away when Severus reached out and touched the side of his arm.

“I’m going to pop Harry into bed and let him sleep, then Beastie and I will clean up,” Sirius said, starting to walk towards the house.

“I’ve give you a hand cleaning,” Mary replied. “You two better take Neville home before we get our wands out.”

“Sure,” Remus said. “I’ll just say goodnight to Harry.”

He followed Sirius into the kitchen then up to Harry’s room.

“How did the apology go?”

“Well, she accepted it, sort of,” Sirius said laying Harry onto his bed and covering him up with a light blanket. “Bur she told me that if I was really sorry, I’d prove it by changing my chauvanstic ways. Apparently, I act like a sexist, chauvanist pig and I treat women like objects rather than equals.”

“She does sort of have a point, Sirius.”

“I know,” he said looking down.

“So she turned you down then?”

“I didn’t mention it. Not after that. I’ll never have a chance with her unless I can… well, be a better man I suppose. Treat women better. Maybe if I do…”

Sirius lifted his head again and Remus saw sincerity on his face.

“I suppose, if you do, it would be a good thing anyway, even if it doesn’t work out with Mary.”

Sirius nodded.

“You’ll help me? Tell me when I’m being a complete arse?”

“Of course I will. Severus will to.”

“I’m sure he will, Moony,” Sirius said with a rueful smile, “I’m sure he will.”

8.  
Remus walked up the track to the farmhouse with Neville’s arms around his neck and Severus’s arm around his waist.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Remus? With Neville?” Severus asked.

“No idea, Severus, I’ve got no idea. I just… well, he was cuddled into my arms and I didn’t want to hand him over to Augusta when she seemed so cold. So I just thought… actually, I don’t know that I really thought about anything really. I just wanted to hold him in my arms and make everything alright.”

“My soft-hearted Gryffindor. You just decided to help him without having anything thought through.”

Remus nodded, then smiled.

“It’s worked out ok for me so far.”

Severus turned his head back to looking at the path. Remus thought he’d been going to say something, but he just walked on silently, black hair hanging around his face.

“You okay, love?” Remus asked.

“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be,” Severus said. The tightness in his voice suggested he was anything but.

“Well, you probably had a pretty tiring day entertaining all those children. You were wonderful, but the way. So lovely and patient with them.”

Severus gave a skeptical huff of breath as they reached the door of the farmhouse. He checked that Neville was definitely asleep and not watching as he pulled out his wand to unlock the door. Remus followed him in, then turned towards the room that Harry used when he was staying.

“I’ll just put Neville to sleep in Harry’s room, then I’ll come and join you. I think I could use a drink after today. I’m sure you could too.”

When Neville had been settled into bed, monitoring charms set to warn if he woke, Remus found Severus sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. Remus took his hand and pulled him to his feet, before walking him in to the sitting room and sitting him down on the couch. He summoned two glasses and firewhiskey, and poured them each a drink.

“Talk to me, Severus. Was it the discussion about what happened to Alice and Frank?”

Severus said nothing for some time, taking a few sips pf firewhiskey and breathing slowly.

“Cheap beer and cigarettes,” he said. “The smell of my father when he came home from the pub. And gin. My mother used to keep a bottle in the kitchen cupboard and swig from that. When I smell those smells… it’s like I’m back there.”

Remus said nothing and kept the expression on his face neutral. He wasn’t sure why Severus had chosen to talk about his childhood now – in nearly two years together he had mentioned it only once, to say that his home “hadn’t been the happiest”. But he knew enough to let Severus take his time with whatever he was trying to say. Remus’s only response was to slide one hand across to sit on Severus’s thigh. Severus glanced down at it, but didn’t object.

“Seeing Neville react like that, the fear… I… I… It’s not the same, I know, but…”

Severus took a gulp of firewhiskey and moved his other hand to hold Remus’s.

“I think I know how he feels.”

Severus let out a long breath then his body sagged. Remus quickly put his glass down and took Severus’s glass from him, then pulled Severus into his arms.

“Oh, Severus. I’m so sorry. That’s… Oh, sweetheart. You must have felt so frightened and alone.”

Remus stroked that back of Severus’s head and rocked him slightly. Severus began to cry then, just softly, tears running down to form a damp patch on Remus’s shoulder.

“Oh, Merlin, I’m sorry. I’m being pathetic.”

“No, Severus. Never. I… I just… I’m so sorry you…”

Now Remus felt tears come to his eyes.

“I’m just so sorry you had to go through that.”

Severus continued to cry and Remus found himself murmuring to him that he was alright now, that he was safe, that Remus was here and would look after him. Severus slowly stopped crying, although he didn’t move.

“Did I make a mistake bring Neville here? Will that just make it worse for you?”

“No… No, of course not. I think it’s wonderful that you care like you do. I do worry, though, that Neville may think he’s here because he’s been bad or done something wrong. When I was a child, once I knew that there were families that were… nicer than mine, I did fantasise about being taken away. But it would still have terrified me. I’d have been sure it was my fault.”

“I never thought of that. Thank you for telling me. I suppose we will have to make sure he understands it’s just for a night and that it’s not because he’s done anything wrong.”

Severus nodded, his head still resting on Remus’s shoulder. Finally he pulled himself back and gave Remus a small smile. He looked a little shamefaced, as he always did when his emotions got the better of him. Remus knew it still embarrassed him that he no longer had the emotional control he’d had before he was captured at the end of the war. But Remus never minded. He was a complete mess once a month and Severus was always there to care for him, so he appreciated the chance to do something back.

“You know, I think it will be a great help that you understand something of how Neville feels.”

Severus shrugged.

“Maybe.”

“You think I’m getting ahead of myself, don’t you?”

“Well, we are just babysitting for the night, and perhaps occasionally in future. We’re not adopting him just yet.”

“Ah, well, sweetheart, you never know how things will turn out.”

Severus smiled and leaned forward to brush a gentle kiss across Remus’s lips.

“I will have to concede to you on that point, Remus.”


End file.
